i founded Kulp Estates from a small apartment in Seoul, Korea. literally hours after selling Fomo.com i signed a contract to buy the property, sight unseen.

when i moved in a few months later, we found a trampoline left behind by the previous owners. my lady was excited to jump around, but she never did. so i listed it on Craigslist. we've had great experiences with Craigslist.

despite my strong assumption that this would attract a strong young dad with a truck full of tools, hours passed without a peep.

then someone named Jasmin emailed "i want it" and i said "great, when can you come by?" and she did not reply.

next i got another email from "Prentess Jackson" who asked "Hey, do you still have this?" and it was finally my  turn to not reply.

finally, Mr. Jesse emailed "how about right now? text or call [redacted]. have truck, will travel, about 45 mins away."

sold to the man with basic sense!

Jesse showed up with no tools but about 35 years my senior. after 3 hours we achieved nothing, as all the trampoline's fittings were covered in rust and wouldn't budge.

think about this design. a trampoline can be put together with zero tools. but the rust transforms into superglue that prevents it from ever being taken apart. brilliant!

day 2

Jesse returned 24 hours older but at least that much wiser.

he brought with him a cable puller, also called a "tensioner," which works just like a ratchet strap for truck beds but is much more heavy duty.

hooking up 1 side of the trampoline to his cable puller, itself chained to his truck...

then hooking up the other side of the trampoline to my truck...

we simply ratcheted the cable puller and voila, the ring came apart. we repeated this process 3 more times to separate all 4 sections of the trampoline.

next came pulling out ~70 springs that were also (you guessed it!) rusted into their fittings.

a nifty seven hours later (3 on Day 1, 4 on Day 2), we were done.

i know i know, wasn't this kinda slow? yes. but that's because in the South we make small talk, approximately 30 minutes per task, making this 1.5 hour job a casual 2 day affair. it's simple math really, maybe read a book.

now i just need to mow the grass. the lady hasn't even noticed it's gone.